A PhD from Bed

Can I really manage to complete a PhD from bed?  I have finished all the course work.  Two of those courses involved in-person attendance; that was the hardest part.  With accommodations (which meant extensions and missing much of the class time) I did end up completing those.  I think in part, the second course in the summer of 2011 is responsible for the last year of relapse.  It was too much.  I had to take a year and a term of medical leave.

So now all I have to do is write a portfolio and a research proposal, do my research (interviews mostly by phone), analyse those interviews, write up my findings, develop some discussion and conclusions, attend an oral defence and voila, I'll have a PhD....which I'm too sick to use anyways.  Hahaha

So why am I doing it?  Well to be honest, it gives me a modicum of satisfaction and fulfillment.  Every morning the last two months I have been spending an hour or two reading, writing, and editing.  It feels "healthy".  It's not making me any sicker, and it is distracting me from my body- which is a good thing.

I have made some small stepwise goals (flexible of course) and I just finished the first one....so that feels really nice.  My 56 page review of literature is off to my advisor.

And I figure if I ever finish this, and I can keep up with 10-15hrs of at-home work on a flexible schedule, with a PhD I might be able to find contracts such as research and writing that I can do from home....so there is a chance I'll use this.  But that's too far off to think about much right now.

The last couple days I have been very ill.  It's very difficult.  It's the old fluey feeling, immune symptoms, and crushing fatigue.  I now own a blood pressure monitor which includes a heart rate monitor and I know that the POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia) is pretty major at present. Within 2 min of standing, my heart rate goes from the 70s to over 120, sometimes as high as 160.  To put this into perspective, 160 is above my age-based target heart rate for exercise and that's if I were healthy!!!!  Just standing up sends my heart into that kind of panic.

I had an appointment with my NP and my second test came back negative for c. Difficile which is wonderful news.  My gut is still in bad shape (not as bad) so they are sending me to another gastroenterologist (hopefully this one is a bit nicer).

My iron is low (7), but as usual I'm not anemic.  My white count and neutrophils were low as per usual, but barely (I think neutrophils were 1.8, low normal is 2) and not near as low as last time where I think my WBC was 3.2 (normal depending on the lab is 4 or 4.5 through 10 or 10.5)

I'm curious from the pole on the right that so many of us have daily fluctuations in how bad we feel.  I'm going to add a pole to see if we all have the same daily pattern as well?

I had an exciting moment today.  I sold a blockprint.  Someone saw them hanging at a local restaurant and wanted to buy one.  I've only ever sold 3 or 4 so that felt affirming.  Here's the one she bought.  It was one of my first prints from 2008.