Not the type of weather where you can get out and enjoy it, especially if you can't be active. I still did a few short rainy outings in the woods with friends and dogs. And we had one beautiful warm day near the end of October and 3 of us went to a nearby park/beach. A friend took these photos of me and Teags that day.
My health picked up in November. I've been doing some mild exercise and thankfully not feeling as poorly.
Lately, I feel like my life is slipping away; years have flown by while I've laid in bed or on the couch 'being cautious'. Crashing is so horrid and the thought of relapsing worse. Still, recently I have this sense like I'm running out of time, so I'm being a bit more cavalier with my body and health. I over-do more often - and usually I crash and regret it but not always. And not enough to stop me over-doing again. So far, I seem to bounce back after a couple horrid days.
Speaking of horrid days, while November has been a bit better than October, this week I am not very well. My stamina is back down to poor - sore throat, air hunger, horrible POTs with multiple near faints, weakness, flu ache etc.
Now for a completely different topic, I am still in search of my next dog - I know, call me crazy - but this is something I want to figure out before I endure more loss (with both an aging parent and an aging dog). I want him/her to be part of my little family so they are not a 'replacement' for some loss - I'm afraid that will both be too much to cope with emotionally, and I will end up resenting and comparing them.
The dog I have now is a strange, lovable, quirky, nervous, character in her own right. She has in many ways been a therapy dog for me now for almost a decade. At times she has truly been my life line. I would say I'm alone close to 90% of the time, and yet because of her I am not - I have this amazing, loyal friend by my side.
I think for those of us who face illness and suffering every day of our lives, having the kind of unconditional non judgmental love and companionship that a non-human being can offer is invaluable.
So, I've been on the search. I want an athletic dog that swims and retrieves (this is how I exercise my present dog 6 mo of the year) who has a very friendly temperament (when I do go out I very often have the dog with me and it takes a lot more training and energy to deal with a reactive dog) and finally, they need to have an off-switch and be able to chill.
No, I don't want a robot (haha) and I know you can't plan for the perfect dog as dogs are all individuals (Teags is evidence of that). Right now I'm on a list for a potential second golden retriever. I've decided they are a good fit for me. She would likely be even smaller than the dog I have (the mom/dam is 48 lbs). I am pretty far down the list though, and trying to scrape together some funds for her (or whoever I end up with - cost of dog, extra food, vet bills etc). But I do think in 2019 my family will grow even if I have to beg borrow and steal to make it happen.
