Being "active" vs. resting

Sooooo exhausted.
I haven't been sleeping great. I thought it was the new dog, Teagan. Last night I had her sleep downstairs in the back two rooms (instead of with me) and still found myself waking up too early. Not sure why.

I do best with 9 or 10 hours of sleep. Prior to becoming sick I did fine on 7 or 8. Supposedly I have a sleep disorder. I went to a sleep clinic. They said I had insomnia with multiple awakenings as well as an inability to get into deep sleep (phase 3 and 4) which are the restorative phases. However, I didn't sleep well at the clinic due to being hooked up to a bunch of wires and stuff, so I don't think it was a fair assessment.

Still, I seem to need more sleep than I used to and my symptoms get worse if I don't get it. Of course I do A LOT less than I used to and spend only about 12 hours of a day NOT resting. (Resting=laying down either sleeping or eyes closed). Of these 12 hours, I'm laying down (reading, watching TV, online) for about 6-9 of them. Therefore, I spend only 3-6 hours a day sitting or standing, NOT laying down. When I work it out like this it almost blows my mind!!

If I compare this to pre-illness, it's a huge contrast. Before becoming ill, I probably spent the 8 hours I slept laying down, along with the occasional nap or movie-watching...so on average I was sitting or standing 13-16 hours a day compared to my typical day now which is 3-6. I guess I could get depressed about this, however, my specialist who deals daily with chronically ill people like me, stresses comparing myself to earlier in the illness rather than to my pre-illness self.

Since when I first got ill, I see very moderate improvements that I've made. I mean for one, I can stand for longer periods of time than I used to. And if I don't "push" too hard and crash, I can maintain some quality of life through restful activities such as art, reading and writing. I approach life now with a completely different mind-set. I've shifted my expectations, my hobbies, even curtailed my ideas of "success". It's been a whole paradigm shift, but it's helped. Otherwise I'd be so depressed about everything I've lost and everything I love and can no longer do.

Anyways, I'm fading, so I'm off to rest.....