Back to a New Routine

The title of this post is a bit of an oxymoron.  I am officially living back home after a 6 month stint of mostly living at my folks, but things have changed with my mom gone, and my dad living down the street. I would say I've changed a whole lot too… both emotionally and in the way I see the world/my life.

The past six months were insane/huge, here's the summary:

My mom got very sick in August, I flew down to help care for her, I realized my dad wasn't up to much any more let alone helping my mom therefore to a degree, all of a sudden I was helping/caring for him as well.  When I came home for a two week break in October, my mom moved to a palliative ward.

When I returned from my break, I travelled there to see her every day, often twice a day, despite awful horrible symptoms/sickness because I wanted to spend time with her, comfort her.  On December 2nd, she died.  My dad wasn't up to being alone so I had to help him figure out where he might want to live, organize the sale of his house, deal with the executor tasks on my mom's will, empty a house of stuff, find my dad a place to live near me, pack everything he needed, take over most his bills and finances, move him….oh right, and during this time, my dissertation was going through review and I was grieving horribly (not to mention ill).

I've had a few near-nervous breakdowns after returning home.  For the first 10 days my dad stayed here with me and he needs an awful lot of attention and constant companionship.  I was impatient with him some of the time.  Now he is living down the street and so far it's working out OK.  I see him everyday, but I don't have to help him fix meals, decide what to read or watch on TV, remind him to bathe…I am still dealing with all his financial stuff, and keeping him company some, but he has his own space, and 3 meals a day, and lots and lots of people to talk to.  Surprisingly, he seems relatively happy.

Next Monday I defend my dissertation.  It includes a 20 min presentation and then people ask me questions for an hour?  It will be gruelling.  When I did my mid-way oral defence I almost put my head down on the table at the end because my brain was shutting down and I was so far passed exhausted. However, I know I can get through it…I just will.  Hopefully I don't get too dizzy.  I will sit for the presentation and will even sneak my feet up under the table for the questioning part which will help with the POTS symptoms…

I hope this PhD translates into some type of part-time flexible work mostly from home in the future, but if nothing else, after next Monday I will be done…finished.  I wonder if I'm the first to complete a PhD almost completely from bed? Seriously! I only attended (less than 50% with accommodations) two in-person classes.  The rest (online classes, papers, library, interview research, analysis, writing) all took place from bed.  I also managed to swing a record 5 medical leaves out of the university.  So wish me luck on Monday.