A Moment of Being Fed-up

So I pulled off the wonderful camping holiday.  And I did more than I should have, and managed it all OK...and even told myself it meant I could do more in my regular life.  Then I came home and a couple days later crashed (not completely unexpected) and I'm still crashed (knew it was a possibility).

I even have an old symptom back, one that makes me sound crazy (although with googling it, it seems to be something common to lots of illnesses like Parkinson's, MS, Fibro, Lyme Disease) and it's the internal buzzing/tremor.  I had it when I first got mono and it was pretty persistent for years. Then I had periods where it eased off and a for a few years now I only get it occasionally.  Anyways, I've had it the last two days and it drives me nuts!

I've also been feeling terribly fluey and awful and sick.  My armpit lymph nodes are sore and my throat starts hurting earlier in the day.  So of course I'm doing lots of resting and feeling frustrated and fed up with my body.  I tell myself it could be worse (it could) and I will probably get back to normal with rest (which is still sucky, but less so).

And my only thought in all this is how darn tough everyone who suffers this illness is!  I mean really, if you are reading this and have M.E., give yourself a pat on the back just for getting through the day and not blowing your lid from frustration/hopelessness.  We endure so much while "looking great".  We have almost no help from the medical establishment and little real understanding of what's causing all this suffering.  We are often isolated and have to give up so many things other people take for granted.