Dogs in my life....

I thought I'd write about something different today, my dogs.

I got my first dog in University, a black lab/golden retriever cross I named Ursa (for Bear - she looked like one). She was an awesome dog - smart, great with people. After I completed University she ended up at my parents due to the fact that I worked for residential outdoor education centres and wilderness programs. When I was finally in a place to have her back, my parents were so attached (and rightly so), they kept her.

Then when I worked for a wilderness program that ran dog sledding trips in the winter I fell in love with the sled dogs. For five falls I trained dogs and spent the winter in the woods with dogs and participants. Some friends and I even raised our own team (about 18 dogs) for an Arctic expedition. So I both lived with and worked with many dogs I loved dearly. And working with dogs is different than having a pet. It's more of a partnership. You really depend on the dogs and appreciate them in all kinds of ways. And when you see them perform these amazing feats (pulling enormous loads enthusiastically, navigating through snowstorms/white-outs, curling up in a ball in -40 temps unfazed and sleeping) you respect them at a whole new level.

A year and a half before our big Arctic trip I got Mono. It was summer and I took about 5 weeks off before attempting to go back to work. My first attempt back to work involved leading a girl -scout sea kayak trip on Lake Superior. I was SO SO sick and exhausted. My co-leaders did much of the work. At night I would lay in the tent incredibly weak with a fever raging and my spleen aching. I obviously went back to work too early. All during that first year I would attempt to work on and off, but I just couldn't maintain my strength or health. Even office work wore me out. Eventually I dropped out of the expedition and left my job "just for a while until I got better". Which I never did.

One of the hardest parts was leaving the dogs. Some of our expedition dogs I never saw again. But one husky (named Merlin) that I'd worked with at the wilderness program (and absolutely fell in love with) I'd adopted the spring before I got ill. She came with me when I left my job and home. Being ill with a dog isn't easy. Dogs need walks and attention. But in many ways Merlin saved my life. She was my best friend, emotional support, and a link to my old life. She was VERY mellow for a sled dog so she did well as the pet of a sick person.

Even on many of my sickest days, Merlin was the one who got me out of bed, even if I just walked a quarter of a block. When I moved up north again, I was alone and sick in a city where I knew no-one. Most the time I was too sick to leave my little apartment. Sometimes I would go weeks without talking to a single person face-to-face because I was just too sick to go out. Merlin made it so I wasn't alone. Sometimes I would get so depressed and sad about how sick I was that I'd write a list in my journal of the things worth living for/being happy for. Merlin topped the list each and every time.

I have so much compassion now for the elderly and chronically ill who are living alone, spending hour after hour, day after day alone. What an amazing thing to have another being with you. Merlin is one of the best things that ever happened to me. She died last July. I miss her daily.

Now I have Teagan the golden retriever. I'm living with housemates, so I don't go days without human contact. Still, I can't believe what a blessing Teagan is. I got her last June from a family who had no time for her, so her expectations for walks etc. were low. She has a yard now where she plays, and between the three of us, she gets many more walks than she did in her previous life. I've been really sick for the last 6 weeks now. When I'm too sick to really want to talk or interact with people (which is often lately) Teagan will come climb in bed with me and sleep or cuddle.

I know dogs aren't for everyone, but without the dogs that have shared my life, I can't imagine how I would have managed.