It's been 6 weeks today since I sat and visited with my mom. Tomorrow will be 6 weeks from the last time I talked to her. I miss her a lot, most of the time. It finally feels just slightly less raw although now that I am back helping my dad in their house it feels fresher and harder again.
I hate that I lost my mom. I feel so sore and sad and empty. I have cried every day but one since she died. I am sure that I am depressed. As well, I am very crashed from my travel…
However, despite it all, I still haven't had a relapse. That being said, I feel sick enough right now that I wish it were me, not her, that had passed. I'm trying to just take things one day at a time. I try not to think about the past too much or worry about what's ahead. This is especially hard as I feel slightly overwhelmed by everything that has to be accomplished in the next month or two. But I am trying to set small goals, today it was cleaning out a closet and making a phone call.
Anyways, that's my update. I don't expect I'll write much on here in the coming months, there is absolutely just so much going on and "oh yah" I'm actually trying to do this all while sick.
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