A change of space, a change of pace

 For a change of pace and space, I traveled to see friends.  I'm in the small town where I used to live and work pre illness.  It's nice to lay in a different bed, on a different couch while I do some writing, emails, watch TV.  Also, it's always good to see old friends

I'm adding a few photos here from the last month.  Winter scenes from around home.  I so love getting out in the winter, but it's much harder because I can't just sit somewhere, it's too cold.  So the outings when they happen are very very short.

Winter on the creek

Good news on the c. difficile front, my first retest came back negative (due to false negatives I'm supposed to do three).  Either way, I have a stash of drugs for next time I get it (because it seems that if history is any evidence, I will).  The A.F. is healing, albeit slowly.  I'm still on a very high fiber low carb and low protein diet.  I'm hoping that will change soon.  I am not in pain all day anymore but I still can't stand very long or sit in a hard chair or any chair for very long (to be honest, that's been the case forever due to OI and M.E., but right now it's also due to pain).

forgotten nest

I am back in my old stomping grounds.  It's always a mixed bag when I come here.  Some old friends and acquaintances get offended because when I come here, I hole up, usually at N.'s house and visit one person, if anyone.  People take this personally.  I don't think anyone from my old life here understands how sick I am and that, despite the fact I look fine, in reality I am ill and weak.  Also, people don't know that outings and social events have repercussions that don't hit for 36 hours.

For example, while I went to dinner the other night with some old friends and had a lovely time, yesterday I was in bed most the day. I felt so sick and awful all day that it brought me to tears.

So while I'm here it's a game of regulating activity.  I push too hard in order to remember I had (have?) friends, people who really liked (like?) me and want to see me.  It's really good for my psyche.  Still, if I go too far, push too hard to fit people and activities in, I will hurt myself long term - even paying the price for months. So I am trying to walk that tightrope, play the balancing act.

To be honest, I'm feeling right now that I never want to leave.  I feel so at home here.  I have friends, I am liked, and the stress is low.  I'm sure if I lived here the novelty would wear off and the stress would creep back in, but for now, I'm enjoying this time.