I'm frustrated with myself.
On the one hand I realize it's not my fault - this illness, how it affects my body.
On the other hand, I WANT to function enough to get through two more weeks.
Unfortunately the weekend wasn't enough time for me to recover....from the cumulative energy output of these past two weeks.
I should have skipped today. However, I woke up this morning and thought "I should go, even for an hour", "show a presense".
I knew walking the two blocks that I was wiped: winded, weak, fluy, sick.
So I sat for the first hour just waiting for a good pause in the discussion so I could tactfully slip out.
The hard part is how much I want to be here doing this. Intellectually I'm present and engaged. But the physical seems to overrule that mental/intellectual...it's very powerful and persistent.
So sorry to hear you are still struggling. I completely understand wanting to do something intellectually and not being able to physically.
ReplyDeleteRest as much as you ca and maybe you will perk up and be able to get through the next two weeks. No way out but through, as you know!
Thinking of you -
Sue
Thanks Sue,
ReplyDeleteWe seem to have a very similar version of this illness and so can relate to each other well.
I'm actually considering going home and seeing if I can still get some (or partial) credit.