Very Crashed.

For whatever reason, since coming down with M.E., late winter/early spring has always been my worst time of year. I can't figure why, I have some theories, but they are just theories.

This year I've taken on more than I have since getting ill. I have daily dad check-ins and often small care things (today taking him to the bank). I have a little puppy, and I'm also working part time from home.

I'm not doing well at all. I have been crashed a lot since I got puppy. This past week has been the worst yet and then we went and lost an hour with stupid daylight savings.

Today I feel so ill there are just no words for it. I want to crawl into hole and die. Anything to take away this horrible fatigue, weakness, breathing/chest/flu ache, shakes/internal tremor, lightheadedness and even body and joint ache today.

I have had SO MUCH help with puppy. Friends have helped almost every day and friends from a far have bought me walking, puppy care and training sessions. I have been so touched by the gestures of help. It's made me feel so loved and cared for.  Over three weeks in, and I'm still asking for or using help almost every day.

Puppy is coming along. She is sweet, feisty, confident, brave, and intelligent. She makes me smile and laugh a lot.

I think just getting a little less sleep a night, the constant getting up and down (or going to the door), and the sitting up much much more than I'm used to is taking it's toll. To be honest, I don't really know what to do.

Thankfully, in three weeks, the bulk of my course will be done (except marking) so hopefully I can tread water until then. I love the little monster and don't want to call it quits, she's already family. But I'm also so sick today it's scary.

Here are a couple more photos of my little Ripple.