We had fun and stopped a few times to look at the ice (which was beautiful the way it was refracting the sun), pick up some food, and even spend a few moments looking at art in a gallery that's along the way.
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| photo does not do justice to how beautiful it was in the sunlight |
The next day I was pretty crashed and wished I hadn't come. Then both dogs ran away (mine and my friends'). I had no car and can't walk very far so I had no way to go find them. Later in the day (after they'd returned) the two dogs got in an awful fight and I was too weak and crashed to pull them apart. It sounded like they were killing each other. I finally managed to separate them. We laid in the snow for a while (I had one collar in each hand) because it took so much energy to separate the dogs, I didn't have the strength to stand up for a while.
Two days later, my arms are still feeling the M.E. muscle weakness I get after I try to do anything strength/muscle-wise (this is a very unique muscle weakness/tremor/fatigue, nothing close to anything I felt with tired muscles prior to the disease). It's almost like a post exertional malaise for muscles. Anyways, after the fight, I cried (admittedly) but tried to stop myself because I knew I didn't even have the energy to use on crying. At least both dogs came out relatively unscathed.
Thankfully, the trip has only improved since then. I've spent lots of time in bed resting, online, and watching TV on netflix. In the evenings I've visited with my friends some and eaten yummy food. They go to bed early and work during the day, so it hasn't been too draining social-wise.
Today, I tried to sit up for a while to do a little art and noticed my hands were purple. I took my heart rate and was at 130 (postural tachycardia) so I'm back in bed.
At the end of my last post I said M.E. is a life sucker. That is true. One example is a visit like this. I would love to go into town, do some shopping. Also, skiing and hiking and dog sledding. These are all things I used to do regularly when I lived here. At best, I can sit up for an hour or two (if my feet are elevated) and visit with a friend. If I'm not feeling too icky, it's not a miserable experience.
I'm sure those who are ill understand the conundrum of living life with a chronic illness. Either you try to do little things that make you happy (toned down as best as possible) and risk feeling terrible during and/or after due to the effort, or you remove yourself from the world….do nothing but rest and basic needs as best you can (food, bathing, etc.). It's a tightrope to walk, and only we have to live with the consequences of doing too much….and so we make the best choices we can to get something out of life while minimizing suffering.
On another note, I ran across a blog entry this week and thought it was so good: http://jesscfs.blogspot.com.au/2014/03/diagnosis-anniversary-and-update.html
glad you had good time. of course you would not have energy to stop dogs fighting. i often thought i would have pets, but thinking of the energy it cost me i gave up.
ReplyDelete"conundrum of living life with a chronic illness", yes, it is indeed a struggle!
i recently have some great improvement by taking ginger tea. i put fresh sliced ginger in water and boil it. some brown sugar too. a doctor told me that it helped to produce blood. and it indeed works for me!
have good rest!
That's such great news that you are feeling improved Yun Yi, esp. with something as simple as ginger. I eat quite a bit of it too as I feel it helps my gut, although I haven't noticed much other effect. (I also love the taste).
DeleteSo glad you were able to see friends and have a visit, the photos look great, although I look at them and just know the photos don't do the place justice, photos never do with beautiful places! I hope you are able to get plenty of good quality rest and recover.
ReplyDeleteThanks Hayley-Esziti, It's good to see friends and not feel so alone right? Bonus, contact with people and now I think I have an infection. I guess on con of having some social life.
DeleteIt is simple upnorth. tell you what, years ago i tried the same thing and didn't feel the effects. i suppose now my physical condition has been changed too. years ago i suffered extreme nutrition insufficient so i needed right diet more than just ginger or astragalus.
ReplyDeletealso, how i took it also could made difference. years ago i did not use enough amount of herb.
glad you like ginger. maybe you can give it a try. the doctor (or i guess he is a cardiology researcher in duke) who encourage me to take ginger said that they received positive feedback from "a" patient. well, again, i know it may not work for everybody.
I can't believe what you went through with the dogs. I suffer from the same muscle overuse situation, tho I don't have tremors, I pay for it. I protect my arms, try to never overuse, but fear the unexpected like you encountered with you dog and another. So awful that we can't even cry too much, or for me laugh too much too. So good that you could rest during the day, that must of really saved you and enabled you to have some good times afterall. Beautiful photos, thanks ---from Leah And thanks Yun Yi, I'll try ginger. I wonder if ginger snaps count !
ReplyDelete