In my last post I wrote about my lack of learning curve when it comes to overdoing it and crashing with this illness. I get a reaction that's been termed post-exertional fatigue/malaise. This means that while doing something slightly active I can feel OK, but then later - typically 12 to 48 hours later -I "crash" with an onslaught of fatigue, weakness and flu symptoms (sore throat, painful lymph nodes, dizziness, fever, breathing/chest ache, etc).
I spent almost the entire past week feeling crashed, sick, and subsequently depressed. Then Thursday I began to pull out of it. Friday, I celebrated feeling almost back to my "normal" by spending the afternoon running around doing errands and then attending a party in the evening. I woke up Saturday with some post-exertional malaise, but not enough to keep me from doing some more unpacking of boxes and building a frame for my box spring. (I'm in desperate need of storage space, so I now have room for short boxes under the bed).
Today, I've managed to slow myself down and rest (although I did have to grab a few groceries). But really, I overdid it the last two days again and am in the process of crashing. I just don't know how to slow myself down sometimes - especially when I'm not feeling awful!
I used to be an over-achiever type - but not in a completely negative way. I LIKED being busy and productive. I know healthy people who spend a lot of time doing relaxing activities (TV watching, Internet surfing, listening to music, reading) and they're quite content. Having this illness I have learnt over time to find some things I enjoy that are less strenuous (computer, art, reading), but my true nature wants to be out cross country skiing on a day like today, or hiking in the woods with my dog....It gets frustrating when I'm punished over and over for doing one tenth of what I used to do.
The one treatment my M.E. specialist stresses the most is pacing. Intertwining periods of rest with activity...never increasing activity by more than 10% at a time. Now that I'm at least partially moved into the new house, I need to start pacing again....fighting my inner nature to be active and productive.
I don't know if this helps but I taught myself to pace by doing house work during the commercials of my favorite shows. When my show was on, I would rest. When the commercials came, I would clean.
ReplyDeleteI still do that to this day!
You did eventually slow down. That is a start. It may seem small but for those of us who are Type-A personalities, even a small step is a huge move forward!
Hang in there!
BTW, I am adding a link to your blog on my site!
Oh yes, I identify too. It's a perennial problem - push, crash, push crash. I'm a natural busy bee although I've never been hugely big on exercise!
ReplyDeleteTo add to Dominique's tips, I am learning to do half the washing up and leaving it, do cooking preparation sitting down, shopping and driving with ear plugs in, shopping online, and being strict about rests whether I think I need one or not. However, life steps in and things like relocation are very tough on us. Take it easy :-)
Thanks for your comments, both of you.
ReplyDeleteDominque, I love the idea of using commecials as a way to pace - brilliant.
Jo, yes it's SO hard for me to start a task and then leave it half way through, unfinished...I'll keep working on this one.