February Blues

I think I have the February blues. Except it's March. My mom (who struggled with depression) always said this was the toughest time of year for her. For me, it's always been December with the low light and short days. I've also now lost 3 family members in December.

So after my last iron infusion in January, as you may know from reading my last blog post, I ended up going to emergency with severe nausea and stomach upset. It took almost 4 weeks to recover. I lost 10lbs. I'm convinced it was a reaction to the iron infusion (and some of my tests did indicate I got too much iron).

Right now I'm in an unrelated flare/relapse, the M.E. kind. I suspect it's due to my body fighting something. Often when there's a cold or flu going round instead of catching it, I get an M.E./POTS flare instead. Which honestly is worse. I'd rather have a cold.

I am so unmotivated today. I just want to lay in bed again all day. Since getting my puppy just over a year ago, on the whole I've maintained a higher level of activity then before puppy (both with my dad's care, part-time work, and a puppy). While it's been super hard, one of the good things is I've managed to walk or take the dogs swimming fairly often. The time spent in nature, outdoors has been so good for me mentally and spiritually even if not physically (although I'd argue that it's helped physically too in some ways).

Right now I'm too crashed to walk, and Ripple has a torn dew claw. Thankfully this is nothing serious, but she keeps re-injuring it. Given her energy level, she can be a bit much when she doesn't get her daily exercise. We are both missing it (and likely my senior dog is too). I am hoping and praying this relapse/crash is short lived. How is it possible to be this weak and sick with no recourse??! It's mind boggling. And in case you're wondering - "I look great". Sigh.