In one way, I am lucky in that I have up and down days. I never feel well, but I have days where I can do things: short outings, art, a little gardening, editing, writing or researching for my PhD. My choices are limited and my work periods short, but at least I have days where I manage things. Over time, I look back and see experiences I have accumulated by making the most of my good moments.
On the other hand, there are times when I feel so fed up by this limiting illness. Right now I have a lingering cold along with an M.E. bad period/crash. It doesn't really matter what is causing me to be so weak, sick, utterly exhausted and useless but I can't help but asking myself, "Is this the antibiotic I'm taking, the lingering cold, an M.E. crash, or all three?"
Yesterday I barely left my bed. When I put on my PJ's in the evening it was so exhausting doing this minor task I had to take a break part-way through.
I still sound hoarse and stuffed up from this cold. It's been at least two and 1/2 weeks! I'm clearly over the bulk of it, but what the heck? Why am I not healing? Will it never end? Where is the light at the end of the tunnel?
I tell myself each night when I go to bed that tomorrow will very likely be better and I feel hopeful. Most days lately, however, I wake up only to feel just as wiped out.
Today I was able to spend 20min printing the last layer of a print. It turned out OK....not my favourite, but not terrible. I thought I would post photos of each of the three layers so you can see how the process works. I did the task then headed right back to bed to spend another day. Wow, it just amazes me the combined power of this illness and cold virus right now.
I hope my readers are having better days then me. Send me some good healing vibes if you can.
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| I carved out the trees then inked a pink and blue blend |
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| I carved out the block leaving just clouds/sky and water |
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| The final layer is a separate block with the trees, land and birds inked with a darker grey/blue |
wait until you reach 48 year-old. i am not superstitious but it seems 12 years is some sort of life cycle. i am 48 this year and i am experiencing some positive change.
ReplyDeletenice print. now i see how you did it. absolutely beautiful!
Yun Yi, is that related to the zodiac at all? the 12 year cycle. I remember hearing something about every 12 years bringing major change. I'm so glad you have seen change...
DeleteBeautiful print as usual. I have heard that these cold, sinus viruses last a long time in healthy people this year...so I am sure it it worse for you. Sending you healing vibes.....and prayers too :)
ReplyDeleteRenee, you are right, the NP told me 1/2 the staff were out with this brutal cold. Please yes send prayers and vibes...I'll take them all :)
DeleteBeautiful print!
ReplyDeleteIt really does sound like you are making the best of the good moments, which is great!
I have more energy and gaps theses days. I have plenty to spare. I shall try my best to send some good vibes your way. xx
Oh yes, Treya, I did read your recent post and am so so excited that you've seen improvements. You really deserve it, it's been too long with the suffering already.
DeleteI always try to send you good vibes, even if they do have to breach international borders.
ReplyDeleteLove your prints. I'm happy that you've been able to do a little bit of art work despite this respiratory yuck.
The last time I had a cold (last year) it hung around for 3, almost 4 weeks. It just hung on like a nasty scab. I'm not even sure what that means, but it sounds right.
Have I mentioned?
I
want
that
dog.
best,
jenji
So sorry you're going through a down spell right now! But those are such pretty prints! I really hope you feel better soon and things look a bit brighter.
ReplyDeleteThis is kind of random, and sorry if this isn't new information, but I remember you mentioned that you feel better in the mornings and crashed in the afternoon (or something like that). You've probably been tested for this, but I've read recently that the peaks that you're feeling throughout the day might be caused by low cortisol levels. When I first got mine tested, I came out at about 6 out of 20. It was still in range, but really very low. My doc prescribed me T3 for my high reverse T3 and my cortisol levels stabilized as a side benefit. Here's an article on adrenal insufficiency, just in case: http://phoenixrising.me/archives/14182