Yesterday I took my parents for a drive along the Kam river. The road winds along the river, then passes quite a few lakes. The whole loop is probably 1 1/2 hours to drive, but we stopped along the way. I shared the driving with my dad. It was my only day of their visit with a chance to do an outing as I had a day before and after to rest. There was one part of the river with a little canyon/gorge and a big white sand beach. We stopped and just admired it. Teagan (my dog) ran around the beach and rolled in the sand. It was incredibly beautiful and the photos (below) just don't do it justice.It was nice to get out and enjoy the day. We were gone about 3 hours. I held myself back several times (from walking much, or doing the driving). Today I'm crashed, but not too badly. Just lymph nodes, throat ,and fatigue/weakness. Not as fluey/achy as I have been much of the last week.
I know quite a few people with M.E. Some crash to varying degrees from emotional, mental, and/or physical stress, but we all seem to have one that is especially consequential. For me, it's physical stress. Anything even remotely cardiovascular causes me to crash. This is not a theory, it's a fact. I kept activity logs for five years and I have learnt that I just can't exercise without paying. I can do some strengthening and movement activity, but as soon as I do anything where I'm "breathing", I end up crashed. This is really too bad as I used to LOVE activity. I ran, rock-climbed, canoed, swam, hiked, sea-kayaked, etc. Now I can't walk two blocks. Well that's not quite true. On a good day I can, but then - about 36 hours later I'm sick and crashed.Sometimes I get so frustrated that someone hasn't figured this out. I have clear signs of illness (crashes, blistered and swollen throat, fevers, low white blood cell count). Why are those of us disabled by illness so deserted by research and medicine? When I look ahead to the future and imagine myself 10 years from now I want to feel hopeful that there might be a treatment. Hopeful that I don't have to live the next 1-40? years ill.
Beautiful photos...So glad you got to go out with your parents.
ReplyDeleteIt is so frustrating isn't it...to not be able to exercise or just go for a walk without being hypervigilant about our bodies reactions. Fatigue comes for me and my husband quickly has balance problems.
Same here, physical stress causes the deeper crashes. I worry so much about what six years of inactivity is doing to my heart muscle.
ReplyDeleteAnd I echo your frustrations about research. Looks like a great day out though :-)
Gorgeous shots! I love the one with the paw prints! Love that! And the one near to the last. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all of the above. Stress is a factor for me but I find exercise does me in as well. That was actually one of the ways I figured out something was wrong. I was a weight lifter and runner and it started taking days for me to recover.
I, too, am crashed out with swollen lymph nodes, ears hurting, headache, sore throat, body aches, chills, and dizziness. Sigh. I knew the proverbial crash would come eventually.
I hope you are able to get back to your 'normal' soon.
Thanks for sharing those photos. They lifted my spirit!
Thanks all for the comments. Sounds like the exercise crash is true for many of us. Dominique, the paw print photo is my fav. too. The beach was completely clean and then Teagan ran around. I saw the light on the sand and thought it was so nice.
ReplyDeleteI love your photos. Especially the one with the paws-very abstract!
ReplyDeleteGod... I SO know how you feel about the exercise. I too loved exercise. I still get pangs of jealousy when I see someone cycling, running, etc.
I also hate the idea of spending forever like this. Its a horrible thought.
I'm glad you had such a lovely experience with your parents.
xx
Treya : )