Wow, I can't believe I'm still crashed! I'm starting to think this is more of a relapse than a crash. For me, crash means (usually) that I did too much, but after cutting back activity and resting extensively, I start to improve. A crash can last a day or up to 10 days (which is the longest crash I've had in years 'til now). With a relapse, my functioning decreases considerably for a longer period. It takes months to rebuild. I've had many crashes and very few relapses over the 7 1/2 years I've been ill.
I've had maybe three decent (but not great) days in over three weeks now.
Today I forced myself out of the house and took Teagan (my dog) to the dog park. I walked a little but mostly let her run around with the other dogs. The outing may have been a half hour long but I feel the equivalent of if I ran a marathon, then got run over by a truck, all on a day where I'm suffering a bad case of influenza....yah, that pretty much sums it up. And the sad thing is that I'm not exaggerating much (except the truck part, but actually having run a half marathon I'd say I feel much worse than after that).
So now I'm thinking I might actually go to the doctor or my nurse practitioner (NP). But there's really nothing they can do. For example, one year my NP ran four strep tests for my throat, but we concluded the issue there (blisters, swollen glands) is viral - hence, no viable treatment. Similarly, my CFS/ME specialist and I decided we'd try antivirals once. I was on them for 3 months but besides making me dizzy, they didn't seem to touch whatever it is I have. It's just so hard being this sick and feeling as if there's nothing I can do.
A fellow sufferer of M.E./cfs - Laurel - recently wrote a blog entry worth checking out. In it, she lists a portion of the treatments she's tried. It's amazing. I kept nodding my head as I read it:
http://dreamsatstake.blogspot.com/2010/02/treatments.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+DreamsAtStake+%28Dreams+At+Stake%29
Wow, does that ever ring a bell. I've tried many of those same treatments and for me the list of doctors (Western, Naturopathic, Homeopathic, Chiropractic etc.) is at least as long.
So maybe I'll make a doctor appointment just to feel like I'm not facing this monster of an illness alone (I mean alone as in without medical help). And then again, maybe I'll just hang in there for another week or so and hope the relapse abates because going to the doctor and being reminded that there really isn't anything they can do is sometimes just as depressing as doing nothing but resting and waiting it out.
p.s. I'm going to start having a monthly poll on my blog (on the right).
Ha! Just finished reading Laurel's post and was fairly blown away by everything she's tried.
ReplyDeleteI too am in a relapse after moving house twice in a year. It's a bit galling when you see your hard won functionality slip down a notch or three. It's hard trying to tell people close to you you need to do even less and rest even more.
Accepting the R word is an important step. I'm not relishing the long, uphill walk out of relapse, but what's the alternative? A good post for me, thanks. I needed to think that through.
Jo - sorry to hear you're in a relapse too....it sucks doesn't it? It's funny how sometimes we do more and think we're getting away at it (what with all the moving, unpacking, traveling) only to find out that the cummulative effect is a relapse....best of luck on your "uphill walk out of relaspe".
ReplyDeleteupnorth - it seems that many of us are in extended crashes or relapses. I am now in week 5 (I think).
ReplyDeleteWell, the good thing is that eventually we will come out of them.
Laurel's post was amazing. Wow! And people think we don't want to get better! Hello!