The Same but Different

In some ways, if the discovery of this retrovirus in people with M.E./CFS as announced on Oct. 8th turns out to be a cause (or even a result) of the illness, my life will change. Right now, the jury is out. The discovery is in the news. The same research facility that made the announcement has already done a subsequent as of yet unpublished study with even more striking results (95% of M.E./cfs patients tested positive for the retrovirus). Invariably, other researchers are attempting to replicate the findings. I expect it won't be long until we know for sure....I can't wait to get tested.

The reality is, however, that my illness symptoms won't change, even if the name, cause, or understanding of the illness does. What will change is how it's perceived by both me and others. For seven years I've had what feels like a never ending case of influenza - with milder symptoms than the flu except the fatigue and flu ache which are significantly more pronounced. But in all the years I've been sick, no medical professional has been able to give me more than vague speculation about what is causing the illness and no treatment to date (besides resting and pacing) has given me any relief.

Even just knowing that this awful experience has been caused or made worse by a retrovirus will be a huge improvement. I will be able to name this invisible monster.
I can understand retrovirus.
I can explain retrovirus.
They can look for a treatment for a retrovirus.
No doctor will look at me blankly when faced with my strange constellation of fatigue and immune symptoms if I'm diagnosed with a retrovirus....

bring on that test....

As to my status of late. I crashed last Thursday after a good period of feeling fairly capable and well. The crash has been dominated with my immune systems. I have the fatigue and weakness but the immune symptoms (flu ache, sore throat, painful lymph nodes, dizziness) are the most distracting symptoms the last six days.

Last night we had people over. We had a fire on the beach, played scrabble and three of us had an amazing sauna afterwards. I rallied fine for the event (after resting lots during the day), but today I've barely moved from the couch and I'm much sicker.

...rest....rest....rest....hopefully I pull out of the crash soon.