I'll make this brief.
I have quite a lot on my plate right now:
1. I'm in charge of the online discussion for my web-based PhD course this week.
2. I have a two hour class to teach on Monday
3. The house I live in has been sold and I (we) need to be out by Wed. - the end of the month
4. We haven't found a suitable place to rent yet
5. This could mean temporarily living 40min from town in a place w/o running water or Internet (fun if I were my old self, not fun with a sick body).
I've moved a lot with this illness. Initially, after I lost my job, I surfed from place to place. The last three years I've rented a one bedroom house. Things have been fairly secure and low stress (except the house is VERY poorly insulated and I'm freezing all the time 9 months a year).
I'm looking forward to BEING moved, but not to moving. My good friend Sue has been packing my stuff for me which is wonderful. I pack a box and then get really exhausted and need to lay down. Let me tell you, there's more than a box to pack!! This is my first move where I've actually had help packing up my stuff (I have had help with the actual moving day and unpacking before).
I'm a fairly B-type personality, but the unknown of where I'm going to be in a few days has hit. I'm stressed and exhausted and feeling overwhelmed. And I'm frustrated at my body. I hate being sick and weak. I'm so frustrated of being vulnerable to any kind of physical stress. I have such limited energy. I wish I could just pack a bunch of stuff and deal with temporary housing. I'm trying to NOT stress and take deep breaths but my school schedule seems about my limit. I feel like I don't have a move in me, let alone two moves if we need to live somewhere temporarily. Even the last week of looking at places and talking to potential landlord/ladies on the phone has worn me down. I guess there's pros and cons to everything, though. At least I don't have to do it all alone.
The M.E. is just there. It's been worse and it's been better. I had four excellent days last week. Friday - Monday I felt pretty decent and did all kinds of things. My specialist sometimes compares energy to money....if you spend it all on your good days, there's nothing left. People with M.E. have no back account to draw from.
I have quite a lot on my plate right now:
1. I'm in charge of the online discussion for my web-based PhD course this week.
2. I have a two hour class to teach on Monday
3. The house I live in has been sold and I (we) need to be out by Wed. - the end of the month
4. We haven't found a suitable place to rent yet
5. This could mean temporarily living 40min from town in a place w/o running water or Internet (fun if I were my old self, not fun with a sick body).
I've moved a lot with this illness. Initially, after I lost my job, I surfed from place to place. The last three years I've rented a one bedroom house. Things have been fairly secure and low stress (except the house is VERY poorly insulated and I'm freezing all the time 9 months a year).
I'm looking forward to BEING moved, but not to moving. My good friend Sue has been packing my stuff for me which is wonderful. I pack a box and then get really exhausted and need to lay down. Let me tell you, there's more than a box to pack!! This is my first move where I've actually had help packing up my stuff (I have had help with the actual moving day and unpacking before).
I'm a fairly B-type personality, but the unknown of where I'm going to be in a few days has hit. I'm stressed and exhausted and feeling overwhelmed. And I'm frustrated at my body. I hate being sick and weak. I'm so frustrated of being vulnerable to any kind of physical stress. I have such limited energy. I wish I could just pack a bunch of stuff and deal with temporary housing. I'm trying to NOT stress and take deep breaths but my school schedule seems about my limit. I feel like I don't have a move in me, let alone two moves if we need to live somewhere temporarily. Even the last week of looking at places and talking to potential landlord/ladies on the phone has worn me down. I guess there's pros and cons to everything, though. At least I don't have to do it all alone.
The M.E. is just there. It's been worse and it's been better. I had four excellent days last week. Friday - Monday I felt pretty decent and did all kinds of things. My specialist sometimes compares energy to money....if you spend it all on your good days, there's nothing left. People with M.E. have no back account to draw from.
Hey Upnorth,
ReplyDeleteThat's a really good analogy about the money and the bank account. I feel for you right now... When we are at our strongest we are able to deal with these situations so much better and it sounds like you don't have the all around strength at the moment which makes everything overwhelming.
Can you swap with someone with the online thing for now??
Maybe you should just live by the hour for now.... Plan things in hours. Get a certain amount done in one hour and don't think of anything else and then rest for an hour. You could do your plan out the night before.
I guess what I'm saying is to try and really organize everything, including your rest times before hand, so as you can just live in the present moment (the hour), and then maybe you won't be thinking of all the other things that need to be done and it may not be so overwhelming. I don't know if this would help... It's what I would do though!
It is an awful lot for you to be dealing with basically on your own. I REALLY admire how you got through those first few years moving from place to place. You are a strong person.
I hope you get through everything ok!!
Good luck x
Treya : )
Gosh, it always seems like big life events happen in waves. The good thing is that they always pass. Just think, after this week two out of your five events will have passed. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the supportive comments.
ReplyDeleteI'll probably be off-line most the month as we didn't manage to find a rental. we have a one month winterized cabin while we look for something suitable, but there's a good chance I won't have much internet access for a month. I'll be back in November, if all goes well.