Short-Term Memory

I'm guessing this will not apply to everyone with M.E. as I realise that if someone is severe, there often isn't a lot of fluctuation. And for those who are moderate and mild, maybe you have learnt to not over-do, to live within your limits?

I am not severe and while I don't live the extremes I did during the first few years of illness, I follow the relapsing remitting path and engage in the push/crash cycle all too often.

I seem to forget (over and over and over) on my better days how awful and crippled and sick I am on my "not" better days.  Even if it's only been 24 hours!  I mean if you asked me on a good day I would tell you that the bad days or crash days are horrible, but in reality, it's hard for me to really believe it, even if I've just been through a recent bad spell.

And so, I:

- do too much because I'm not feeling too sick on a "better" day
- tell myself "I'm really not that sick, it's not that bad"
- tell myself, "you really could do more, earn a living, exercise a bit more, leave the house more."
- figure I must be improving/improved

But then, because M.E. is a condition where the repercussions of too much activity often don't hit until a day or two later, a day or two later I'm laying in bed asking myself "Why did I do that thing/activity?" "How come after 14 years of this that I keep over doing it and ending up here?" "Am I stupid?"

Sigh

Am I the only one who overestimates my abilities on those days when I'm not as sick?