Vacillations

There's nothing like a paddle on a peaceful morning lake.

I seem to be going through vacillations with this illness.  I'm doing more, or suffering through so I can do more "living", then I'm crashing and burning so that I have periods where I'm in really really bad shape.

Right now I am in a crash again.  This is because I pushed myself so I could go camp on a wilderness lake for a few nights (see pictures below).  I had someone drive me to said lake, but still, it was way more work than I'm used to physically.  Also, I'm getting a little tired of camping alone, despite that it was amazingly beautiful. One time, it would be nice to go out into the bush/wilds with friends for a few nights (and not just so they can do the work for me :) )

Since the camping, I feel horrid again, like a huge rock sits in my chest, it hurts to breath, my muscles ache like with influenza, I have a sore painful throat, and I am....dare I say the word "tired", but not the normal tired, the M.E. tired - completely shot, no energy in any muscle, I can barely lift my arms.

And despite the crash, guess what I had to do today? Change and launder sheets.  It was too much, I deserted my dad at the laundromat and told him he'd have to finish up. I came home and crawled back into bed.

The bug issue is mostly gone, but because no one has been on top of his sheets, I found blood AGAIN!!!! F%$#$%%^!!!  Looks like just one bite, but it means there are a few bugs still lingering in his suite despite the fact the place keeps saying "we kicked them, they are gone".  I've found evidence of bugs twice since they've said this...and I am past wanting/feeling up to dealing.

I haven't worked all month, haven't lifted a finger to earn a single penny.  And twice I've postponed my meeting with the professor I'm going to do some part-time editing for.   Well to be fair, she hasn't really felt up to handing stuff over anyways, she's swamped.  I want to remain a sloth for the rest of my life.  My dad's suite is already a part-time never-ending job, at least from the perspective of disabled sickie.

The friends who dropped me off, took a turn on the beautiful cliffy lake.

I sat on a rock for at least 90 minutes watching this sunset, it was amazing.