I'm not feeling too well. On the other hand, I'm feeling less sick than I expected given what I've been doing activity-wise so far this week.
Today another student and I presented the morning class. It took a fair amount of prep and it meant that I had to stay for the full four hours. At the end I was high on adrenaline and coffee so I didn't feel too badly.
I walked home and lay down immediately. As the afternoon wore on I felt worse and worse.
Tomorrow is a rest day. I'm not going in to class....it's a session I've done before and therefore a good one to miss.
I find myself contemplating this process of straddling the line between catering to my sick body and participating in this course. It's very challenging. Partly because I don't know from day to day which "push" will cause a crash. Also, I'm wrestling with my desire to participate, learn, and socialize with my need to rest and placate this monster of an illness.
That's it for my update. More later once I've rested up.
On the positive side, it's looking like I just might pull this off!
Ah, yes, adrenaline is amazing stuff, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear you sounding better - definitely more positive and upbeat. It's great that you are managing this course. Good for you!
Sue
Thanks Sue
ReplyDeleteAs you know I had such a hard winter and spring and was feeling so hopeless.
It's good to have a small success.
This illness is such drudgery isn't it?
I call that the 'tension line' we must always straddle. When to do more and when to do less. With this illness in particular it is so hard to know because the boundaries seem to always move!
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't crash and are able to do this as I know it is something that is important to you.
Sorry I have been absent from commenting for so long.
I'm pleased for you at this progress and success! It must feel somewhat wonderful to be a productive member of society! I could use a little of that!
ReplyDeleteJudy
You have enormous courage to be doing this. I tried a course in adult literacy early on in my illness and it was far too much and i had to give it up. I was gutted as I was getting so much out of it. How I long for the pre-illness days of studying for my degree at the same time as looking after a small child. How did I do it? I certainly took it all very much for granted. I hope somebody else where you are recognises the cost to you of your contributions to the class. Keep us posted.
ReplyDelete"tension line" is a good analogy Dominique. I've imagined myself as a metaphorical tight rope walker before. And it always seems to be when I am trying to "manage" something in the outside world. I've missed your comments, however, completely understand your need to focus on health and manage.
ReplyDeleteThanks Judy! And honestly, I'm not doing much productive.
Jo, it sounds like you understand the delima of enjoying it so much and yet having to placate the illness - and in your case quit. I managed a course like this two years ago (also with accomodations). Basically I went 8-10 of the 20hrs a week. This time perhaps I'm pushing a bit harder....