I'm laughing at myself and how reckless I feel as I sit here in the library enjoying some high-speed Internet! I've been feeling quite ill and fluey almost non-stop for over two weeks. It's been really trying both physically and mentally. On top of feeling so sick, I've also been feeling bad for being such a crank-pot around my roommates.
Because we are a 30-40min drive from town, the few times I have gone in, it's involved being shuttled around. Today I just said to myself, "I'm going to drive to town and do my own thing for an afternoon despite the consequences". So I feel like a renegade! I feel as if I've been living in a little box and I just needed to break out and screw the consequences (the crash).
I might feel differently tomorrow if and when the consequences arrive, however.
Despite being so sick, the holiday was actually quite nice. We had some relaxing times at the cabin, visited and ate some good food. The lake and the snow have been beautiful. On new years eve I was out on the lake watching the full moon rise over the trees.
Last night it dropped to below -30C. Back in the day (when I was a wilderness instructor) I would have been out leading a dog sled ski trip in this weather, now I'm in a heated cabin wrapped in blankets wearing layers of clothing. Alas, I guess it does no good to think of the old days when you have a chronic illness.
Hi!
ReplyDeleteAmazing to think of you up there in all that snow!
When I begin to think about 'the good old days' before I was sick, I tell myself quite firmly to stop - much better to stay focused on the present.
Have also been less well the past few weeks, maybe because I had guests for the holidays - lots of fun, but I'm paying the price!
Hang in there!
Nicky
Sorry you haven't been feeling well! Like Nicky, I'm amazed at all the snow (it doesn't snow like that where I live).
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself and try not to push yourself too much!