I've had only one terrible afternoon lately (last Friday) where I thought, "I wish someone could put me to sleep to end this misery". If I weren't able to see the big picture, sometimes when I'm in the moment of suffering, it's possible that I might do something drastic. Thankfully, after more than 7 years of being ill, I understand that these moments come and go for me - it's just a matter of waiting them out for the better times.
So I had that one bad afternoon where it just hurt to breathe and my throat was painful and my body achy (like with the flu).....but I did attend a conference that morning - that was probably part of it.
My functioning has been pretty good lately (I can do quite a bit). Still, I have to remind myself to be careful not to overdo it. I'm happy about how well I'm doing overall! I keep reminding myself that I should just enjoy this time - make the most of it!!! Fall has always been my strongest, healthiest season with this illness.....perhaps the good spell will stick around this winter - who knows?
On another very sad note: My friend Ted died a week ago Friday from prostate cancer. We met when we both worked at Outward Bound in the winter program. One winter my friend Suellen and I shared a cabin and some evenings Ted would come by. We'd move piles of clothing and outdoor gear (our cabin was messy) and find ourselves spots to sit. We would visit and sometimes indulge in a little red wine.
After Ted and I both left Outward Bound we stayed in touch. A couple times he drove up from his cabin to visit me when I was all alone and knew almost no one here in Thunder Bay. He always let me stay in his cabin if I wanted to go south but couldn't do the long drive (long is relative).
His prostate cancer returned a couple years ago and he fought it valiantly undergoing many rounds of chemo and some radiation too. We shared some of our experiences of illness (even though they were not the same) and just general friendship. He was a funny, witty, thoughtful, caring man. I feel grateful to have known him. Even near the end when he emailed he always asked how I was which is crazy when he had just been through something like spinal surgery. It's hard for me to fathom what he endured at the end.
He was a good friend
I will miss Ted.
I'm putting a photo of Ted, Suzanne (his wife), me and Suellen here. It's not a great photo of any of us but I wanted to post something.
I'm glad to hear you are at a good level of health at the moment!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about your friend Ted passing. He looks like a nice man in the photo. My thoughts go out to his family and friends at this sad time.
xxx