There really isn't much to report on the M.E. or POTS front. I do think that overall I am improved from 10 years ago. Very minor improvement, but I'll take it.
Why am I improved? Can I pinpoint anything? I wonder if it's partly just age and time. In fact, I wonder if I will continue to improve once I hit menopause and my hormone profile changes.
While I would never recommend exercise to anyone with M.E. (it can make things work and cause permanent decline), I do think my regime of gentle walking when I can manage it has helped.
That said, I still have lots of ups and downs, many crash days lately. I'm crashed today from walking too much yesterday.
As December looms, my mood plummets. I'm trying to get outside for lots of air and sunshine; I try to distract myself as best I can without crashing. But the waning light and the memories of a year ago seem to seep in through the cracks of my resolve.
I am missing my Dad and thinking of just over a year ago when he ended up in the hospital for a final time. Likewise, 5 years ago (which sometimes seems like yesterday) my mom passed around this time of year (Dec. 2nd). Up until this year my recent life has revolved around their care. I've struggled to find meaning and love in my life since. I am still teaching online part time which sometimes helps. I also spend a lot of time training and hanging out with my dogs.
Here are some photos from the last couple months.
