No Wiggle Room

I am in a 'period of worsening'. I refuse at this point to call it a relapse, however, it's been around 2 weeks of 'pretty bad' now. My sore throat has been worse (mostly constant, but still mild) and it hurts a lot to take a deep breath. I'm fatigued and weak and dizzy/light headed and shaky. I feel viral and heavy. This all affects my mood which is lower, and I'm very easily frustrated.

Try being a caregiver for someone with dementia and congestive heart failure while feeling horribly ill and weak yourself. Seriously, I hope that I am not morally weak for my constant lack of patience. The other thing I've noticed with this worsening period is I have no leeway to 'push'. I've been getting away with overdoing it for months and months. Now if I edge a bit healthwise one day then do something, the next day I am back in a deep pit of un-health.

So here I am complaining (again) that this illness sucks. Duh! Nonetheless I'm hoping to escape for a few days at the end of August if at all possible. I am still in the midst of marking, but should be able to pull it all off by next week. The summer here is quickly closing and I need a serious break/breather.

Please send many healing and strengthening vibes my way. Also send joy - not sure how to find mine these days.