My overall function is way down and every time I think I'm starting to edge I'm back in the hole. Since it's been 3 weeks now I must call this a relapse not a crash. A crash is a viral and energy reaction to activity usually hitting a day or two after said activity. This is an overall loss of function.
I'm not surprised. I work almost everyday for 2-4 hours, sometimes more. Yes it's in bed brain work, but it must be taking a toll. While I can do a lot less physically these days, mostly I'm not over-doing it body-wise and so the relapse must be from too much mental work. There is also a constant stress related to the work and my dad, who is quite needy emotionally. I do love this online teaching, but it's costing me big time.
I have a sore throat most afternoons and evenings, I have little energy and notice even lifting my arms is draining. The OI is much worse, if I'm sitting or standing my feet are purple from blood pooling and I feel light-headed every time I stand up. I just feel like I have mono, even walking to the kitchen or sitting at the kitchen table for 5 minutes is exhausting.
It just sucks. It sucks that I've spent 14 years of my life so limited by this illness. 14 plus years feeling sick every. single. day. It is so frustrating to try to do stuff and just have nothing in the tank energy or strength wise. SO FRUSTRATING. And I'm trying, every day I try to do things, I don't give up. But it's really disheartening to be so sick and incapable. I wish I had a medical advocate. But based on 14 years being sick with this, that's a pie in the sky dream. Sometimes I just want to give up.
